Dries My Sack: Amazon and UPS

Welcome to the next entry in my, ongoing, op-ed. This series is titled "Dries My Sack" and can be compared to the Grinds My Gears segment in Family Guy Presents - Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. As I find things in life that piss me off, they'll become part of this series. The title for the series comes from a joke my father made while kayaking. I have a "Dry Sack" for keeping things dry during water sports and he made the joke that I should see a doctor. There you go...

Two of the Worst

You know what really dries my sack?

Amazon and UPS

Absolute garbage companies and here's why.

I ordered 4 things being shipped in 3 shipments, all via UPS, on December 3rd.  I selected 1 day shipping.

Here we are, December 5th, and nothing has arrived yet.

Here's the bullshit answers according to UPS:

1 package is delayed due to extreme weather.  Here's the problem...there is no weather.  The package is coming from San Bernardino, 9 miles from my house.  The roads are clear.  The other 2 packages aren't due yet according to them.

Here's the even bigger bullshit answers from Amazon:

1 day shipping means it ships out 1 day AFTER the packages ships.  Meaning they can take 7 days to box it up if they want and then ship it out 1 day.

FUCK YOU!

If my screen says 1 day shipping and offers a guaranteed delivery date of 1 day later, you absolutely better fucking have it to me 1 day later.

DON'T OFFER 1 DAY SHIPPING IF YOU CANNOT HONOR IT.

I am officially done.  No more Amazon.  No more UPS.  No more.

Amazon likes to hide behind bullshit excuses as does UPS and their customer service is lacking and robotic.

I have requested a full refund on all orders.  They have complied.

And that's what really dries my sack.

12/7/19 UPDATE:

UPS claims to have delivered 2 of the packages at 4:14 pm and left them on the front porch.  I was here, door open.  I assure you no packages have been delivered.  I immediately called UPS to have them catch their driver and the lying bitch on the phone said the drivers do not carry cell phones and to file a claim with Amazon.  The 3rd package still shows out for delivery.

12/11/19 UPDATE:

My neighbor to the West, who only comes up to his home about twice a year, found the 2 packages INSIDE HIS SHED.  1.  Had he not come up today, it could have been 6 months before I ever saw them.  2.  Not my address.  3.  Certainly not a front porch by any means.  4.  The UPS driver had to break and enter the shed to leave the packages there.

The 3rd package, like every other day since 12/4, shows "Out for Delivery" and I expect that late tonight, like every other night since 12/4, I will get a second email from UPS saying the delivery is rescheduled for the next business day.

12/12/19 UPDATE:

I was right.  I got that email saying it would be delivered the next day.  For those keeping track, I have received no fewer than 35 update emails from Amazon and UPS regarding these packages.

Alas, at 3:13 pm on Thursday, December 12th, 2019, the debacle was put to rest as the final package was finally delivered.