Dries My Sack: Graffiti

Welcome to the next entry in my, ongoing, op-ed. This series is titled "Dries My Sack" and can be compared to the Grinds My Gears segment in Family Guy Presents - Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. As I find things in life that piss me off, they'll become part of this series. The title for the series comes from a joke my father made while kayaking. I have a "Dry Sack" for keeping things dry during water sports and he made the joke that I should see a doctor. There you go...

Or, asshole font.

You know what really dries my sack?

Graffiti.

It's 2018 and I still see graffiti.

My first question is, why?

Why is this still a thing?

Does writing on someone else's property in illegible fonts make you feel better about your low self esteem?

Seriously.

Let me share with you all the reasons this is the dumbest possible way you can assert your dominance over a community.

1.  Nobody can read your dumbass moniker.
2.  It's going to get cleaned off eventually.  It may take years in some lesser communities, but eventually, it's going away.
3.  It's someone else's property.  That's a pretty dick move.  Like, do you go by it everyday to admire your work?  Do you hope your homies will?
4.  Do you really want to be the person who gets to claim "busted for tagging" as part of their macho record?
5.  You're claim to fame can be equated to a toddler's finger painting on daddy's refrigerator.
6.  Certainly you can find a better way to show how "badass" you are.

I don't know about you, but I have literally never thought to myself, "Boy that gang banger sure is scary.  Just look at their handwriting on that busted ass fence behind the grocery store."

Tagging doesn't make you awesome or cool or tough or worthy of my fear or respect.

Tagging makes you a toddler incapable of using their words.

Graffiti is about the lamest thing you could ever do with your life and I really am sorry about your tiny penis but if I ever catch you tagging, I will beat your ass with the marker or can of paint your drawing with.

Graffiti is a waste of time and resources and is well beyond it's shelf life.

And that's what really dries my sack.