Dries My Sack: Big Fish in Small Ponds

Welcome to the next entry in my, ongoing, op-ed. This series is titled "Dries My Sack" and can be compared to the Grinds My Gears segment in Family Guy Presents - Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. As I find things in life that piss me off, they'll become part of this series. The title for the series comes from a joke my father made while kayaking. I have a "Dry Sack" for keeping things dry during water sports and he made the joke that I should see a doctor. There you go...

Big Fish in a Small Pond

You know what really dries my sack?

Big Fish in Small Ponds.

That's not to say actual fish in actual ponds.  It's a Figure of Speech.

Unfamiliar?  It is used to describe someone who thinks they are the best at something because they are, in a very limited sample size.

A few examples:

The best vocalist in a high school choir.

The best actor in a college troupe.

The best dancer in a single piece.

The best burger on a restaurants menu.

Get it?

Okay, let's move on.

I deal with big fish in small ponds pretty regularly.  I work with a lot of high schools and colleges.  Each year, the sample group changes because students move on.  Each year, there is a new big fish.  Each year, a former big fish goes out into the real world and realizes that they are no better than average.

A little something about me that you may or may not know:  I can be a real ass.  I call people out when they screw up and I don't have the most gentle voice to do it in.  I don't handle stupidity well.  My way of doing things rubs a few people the wrong way.  Ask me if I care.  I don't.  Why? Why am I telling you this?

Because, there will always be someone meaner than me.  There will always be someone  that makes me look like the Pope.  It's a fact.  In your small pond, you think you're God's gift to performance and that I am the Antichrist because I don't pucker up for your ass every time you enter the room.  In your small pond, you might be right.  But I am not here to stroke your ego or help you stay inside the small pond.  I exist to help you prepare to make the leap out of the pond.

More often than not, those big fish come back to visit the small pond and they say something along the lines of "Thank you Bilbo.  You're actually one of the nicest people I have ever worked with."  I smile a little each time that happens because in that brief moment, I become the big fish in the small pond.  The difference here being that I often leave the pond.  I have ventured out and have seen the real world.

I really do want to help you succeed outside the pond but if you act like a little bitch every time I remind you that you're not the best in all the land, I am going to call you on it.  Many years from now, when someone far better than I tells you just how terrible you are, I'll still be here to do my job for the next big fish.

The thing about the fish is that it doesn't know life outside the pond.

And that's what really dries my sack.