Dries My Sack: Tipping

Welcome to the second entry in my, ongoing, op-ed. This series is titled "Dries My Sack" and can be compared to the Grinds My Gears segment in Family Guy Presents - Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. As I find things in life that piss me off, they'll become part of this series. The title for the series comes from a joke my father made while kayaking. I have a "Dry Sack" for keeping things dry during water sports and he made the joke that I should see a doctor. There you go...

Tipping is an outdated practice.

You know what really dries my sack?

Tipping. On multiple levels.  Tipping in America is the dumbest thing. The system that creates the need for tipping is awful.  The entitled attitude of servers is disgraceful.  The way some assholes tip is ludicrous.

The Tipping System

Let me start by saying that the tipping system in America is flawed.  This isn't news.  It sucks.  The Federal Minimum Wage in 2016 is $7.25 according to the Department of Labor. (That hasn't changed since 2009, but that's another blog for another day.)  Many states have much higher minimum wages.  Here, in California, the minimum wage is $10.00, with plans to increase over the next few years to $15.  I am going to use the Federal numbers though to give you a wider perspective.  You can look up your individual State info here.

So $7.25 is the minimum hourly wage an employer is allowed to pay an employee. Working at Amazon? $7.25. McDonald's? $7.25. Wal-Mart or Ralph's? $7.25

Working as a server in a restaurant? $2.13  That's right. Tipped servers, at the federal level are promised only 30% of everyone else.  Remember, there are some states, like California, where servers are required to be paid the same minimum wage as everyone else but for the purpose of this blog, we're looking at Federal info. Besides, most of the Nation uses the Federal number for tipped employees anyway.

So why is this an issue?  It assumes servers will earn 70% of their income from tips. 70%! Serving on a Tuesday afternoon in a place mainly visited on the weekends?  Oh well.  I'm sure the Electric company will take 30% payment on your bill.  Kitchen backed up to no fault of yours causing customers to tip less?  Oh well. You can just pay 30% of your rent this month.

The current system forces us, the consumer, to pay the restaurant's business expenses.  I often find, in the entertainment business, producers that think I will work for less money, longer hours, with poor resources.  Actors work for free, student crews are used, sets are recycled and expected to be painted in your garage with volunteers and donated paint.  My response is always, "You want to be a Producer?  Produce.".  It applies to restaurants too.  Paying your employees is a cost of doing business.  As a consumer, already paying a very large markup for my meal, I shouldn't also be required to make up your employee's hourly wage.  You want to be a Restaurateur?  Be one.

If You Can Afford to Go Out, You Can Afford to Tip

False and excuse me? I go out because I don't feel like cooking.  I go out to celebrate something.  I go out to socialize.  I pay a 300% markup to eat at your place instead of mine.  That 300% markup covers the cost of the ingredients, the cook's hourly rate, the servers, the electric bill, the overhead, etc.  Tipping is not part of going out.  Tipping is a custom in America where if you exceed the expectations of the service I have already paid for, I throw a little extra something your way.

I work, as a Wedding Planner, where tipping is a regular thing.  I always tell my clients which vendors should be tipped and how much the standard tip should be.  I also tell them to put those tips in individual envelopes and give them to me ahead of time.  I take care of tipping out the vendors at the end of the event.  That being said, the most important thing I say to my clients is this:  If, for any reason, you are dissatisfied with a vendor's service, let me know during the night and I won't tip them.

See, tipping isn't promised.  Sure, America has royally screwed the restaurant industry, but tipping is a bonus.  Your job is to serve me my food.  If you do an exceptional job, you get a bonus.  If you do the minimum your job requires, you shouldn't be tipped.  I am sorry America has screwed you and yes, I always tip, but understand, I DO NOT have to tip you just because I am dining out.  It's very pretentious of you to expect me to cover your life's choices.  I am over seeing Buzzfeed articles about how you deserved better.

Don't Be A Dick

Tipping in America is required, for now, so don't be a dick about it.  If you're spending $20 on a meal and it's being served to you with a smile, another $2-$4 isn't going to kill you.  If you receive poor service, talk to a manager and if it can't be resolved, don't tip, but don't be THAT person.

Don't leave a stupid note about how much better you are than your server or about how they don't deserve a tip.  Don't leave a tip lesser than the amount of pain in the ass you were for the server.  Don't base your tip on things out of the server's control.

The point is, in America, for now, we are expected to tip.  It's a couple bucks here and there that, unfortunately, your server is expecting.  Being an ass about it isn't going to fix the system.  Those same Buzzfeed articles mentioned earlier make the customer look like just as much of an entitled prick as the server.