Dries My Sack: The Seller

Welcome to the next entry in my, ongoing, op-ed. This series is titled "Dries My Sack" and can be compared to the Grinds My Gears segment in Family Guy Presents - Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. As I find things in life that piss me off, they'll become part of this series. The title for the series comes from a joke my father made while kayaking. I have a "Dry Sack" for keeping things dry during water sports and he made the joke that I should see a doctor. There you go...

Oops.  Did I say that out loud?

You know what really dries my sack?

The Seller of the home we just bought.

I hope you have poured a drink because you're in for a ride!

We began house hunting in Fall of 2020 and fell in love with a fixer upper on November 28th.  We made an offer.  Little did we know, it was with the seller from Hell.

I think the best way to describe how we put $49000 into obtaining our dream home is to give you the factual timeline:

The following is a timeline from our viewpoint…

11/28 We viewed the property and decided to make an offer.

12/1 Seller countered and we accepted the counter.

12/3 Seller signed.

12/4 We obtained entry to take measurements. Workers were there, living there, eating, and painting the inside of the house white.

12/7 Wired good faith deposit of $5000 into Escrow.

12/12 Home inspection.

12/13 Flooring quote.

12/14 Obtained inspection report and made counter offer for repairs funds.

12/15 Seller agreed to additional $1500 credit for certain repairs to be done.

12/18 We were told the appraiser would be reaching out to the lender to schedule.

12/21 Seller disclosures signed

12/23 Still no appraisal due to “bank holidays”.

12/30 We were told appraisal report would be released later today.

1/4 Appraisal report came in lower than selling price and required repairs to close.  We signed a new offer and repair list.

1/6 We signed a new addendum.

1/9 Still no reply from seller.

1/14 Seller finally signed addendum and repair order.

1/20 We signed the Closing Disclosure.

1/28 We signed final documents with notary while waiting for reappraisal to confirm repairs were done as we were told they were. We also wired the rest of the down payment and closing costs into escrow.

2/3 Repairs were not actually done as we were told.

2/5 Their agent sent them the repair list again and they claimed to begin again that day.

2/9 The sellers agent went to check on progress and found that rather than patching and fixing exterior peeling paint, the worker just started painting the 2nd floor exterior a completely different color.  We drove by and spoke to the worker there.  None of the required repairs had been done still but he was again painting the interior white (Never asked for, not on any report) I printed the actual required repair list to the worker and walked through with him step by step on what needed to be done.

2/11 I went back to check and the worker was not there, but his tools and such still were (as well as his bed and tv and dishes and trash and such.) He had completed about 47% of the items listed on the repair (note this is not 47% of repairs as the painting is a big chunk and not done.)

2/13 He was working on more list things, slowly.

2/15 Worker was gone as was all his stuff.  Exterior repairs and trash hauling still not done, water heater improperly strapped, Plumbing and electrical not addressed.  Interior messier than when we viewed house.

2/16 We agreed to pay for the remaining repairs and take care of them even though seller already signed and agreed to do so in an effort to just close it out.  We were told the seller can not back out.

2/17 We had debris hauled away and began exterior repairs and painting.

2/19 Painting and exterior repairs complete.

2/20 All other original list and 2nd inspection list repairs complete. We also cleaned up the interior messes sellers workers left.

2/25 Reappraisal came out and signed off on everything.  He had concern about a patio roof overhang.  I scheduled repairs for 3/2-3/5. I also scheduled furnace and carpet repairs for that week.

3/1 We took possession of property in order to protect the $9800 in repairs we put into it in order to satisfy closing requirements because the seller has repeatedly proven to be untrustworthy and in Crestline, there is a real problem with tweekers breaking into vacant properties.  This also aided us in meeting several more repair contractors without having to leave and come back constantly.  To be fair, I transferred utilities to my name knowing that we’d be using them.

3/2 Lender wanted roof certification so we scheduled it even though that was never required.

3/3 Roof was repaired.  Photos sent to appraiser and agent. Lender dropped certification requirement.

3/4 We emailed agent an itemized list of repair costs so far.  It was a rushed preliminary list. Seller was apparently trying to now back out of selling AFTER we invested almost $10k into the property.  He was refusing to sign the extension of escrow, which didn’t close timely because seller claimed to do repairs that were not done repeatedly.

3/5 Late at night, I found out the seller wanted $3000 more to sign the extension.

3/6 Seller showed up to property.  We discussed the $3000 and I agreed to just get this damn thing done.  He asked if we were living there.  I said yes, in order to protect our investment. He forced his way in, filmed without consent, and called the Sheriff.  Sheriff said it’s a civil issue and left.  Seller left.  Later that day, our agent heard back from seller and drafted an addendum which we signed to agree to the $3000 provided they sign the extension and we can close by 3/12.

3/8 Seller met with their broker to discuss their issues.  We were told broker would reach out directly to our agent.  This did not happen.

3/9 Still waiting.  At this point, the 12th won’t happen especially given the snow coming in tonight. If nothing moves forward by end of day, we'll pursue legal action tomorrow. Our broker told our agent, off the record, that taking possession was a genius move.

3/10 Told we're in good shape. Agent provided their agent a last chance offer to close this out. If they don't accept, Brokers legal will send a letter of demand to close followed by litigation if needed. Seller's broker admitted to ours that seller was trying to take advantage of us.

3/11 We contacted legal to proceed with litigation. Lawyer is confident and said he liked the bold move of taking possession.

3/12 Legal received complete file from Agent and we'll review.

3/15 Legal reviewed file and noted that seller never actually agreed to repairs in writing. Made settlement offer.

3/18 Legal said seller declined and dummy intended to sell to someone else. Agent/Broker agreed to pay bulk of settlement. We agreed to $10k more.

3/19 Legal was packaging the settlement.

3/20 Agent indicated closing documents should be ready 3/23.

3/22 Settlement letter sent to all parties for approval.

4/8 Settlement finally signed by seller.

4/16 We closed.

As you can see, the seller is a smarmy, narcissistic, anti mask wearing, manipulative, sexist, jackass that wears gold chains with track suits and acts like he lives in West LA but in reality lives in the far East IE and while the settlement dictates I cannot sue him over this transaction, it doesn't say anything about telling our story.

It would be a real shame if some anonymous person tracked him down and provided links in the comments below.  A real shame.  I do not encourage that behavior and take no responsibility for the comment section of this blog.

And that's what really dries my sack.