Bilbo's Hobbit Hole: The List

So, what is "The List"? It comes in many shapes and sizes and different rules apply for each person, but the list is a list of 5 celebrities that you can...um...er...participate in extracurricular activities with and your spouse offers full approval. I first heard about the list on an episode of Friends. Shall we?

It's laminated!

OK OK, before you go pissing and moaning about how this is so sexist and gross and I am married, how could I? and blah blah blah, let's get a few things straight.

1. I am fully aware that I stand no chance whatsoever of even meeting any of these women.

2. My wife has a list too, so relax. Some of us are stronger in our relationships than you are and that's okay.

3. It's a joke. Calm your tits!

4. It is inherently about sex and looks, but please understand that I recognize these women for so much more and this list in no way indicates their value in my eyes nor negates the value of thousands of other talented people in the world.

Here we go...

In no particular order...

Scarlett Johansson

is a universally talented actress and I am hard pressed to find a performance I don't enjoy. She's obviously hot, talented, and smart and seems like she would be fun to take on vacation.

Natalie Portman

Natalie is one of those actresses that can easily be seen in any role. One of my favorite's is V for Vendetta as she is one of a few that can pull off a shaved head. Natalie is gorgeous, talented, seems well read and I would love to enjoy a cup of coffee with her.

Mila Kunis

Mila is a sassy girl that pulls off leading roles with grace and dignity. She's stunningly beautiful, hilarious, and talented. Drinking at a bar is the way to go here. I also wouldn't mind watching a movie she's in with her. She seems like she can laugh at herself.

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer is the one I want to order a pizza with, grab a six pack, and play video games with. She's super talented and has range. She obviously has the looks, but her sense of humor is perfect.

Emma Stone

Emma is perfectly beautiful in every way. I cannot get over her in Easy A, one of my favorite films. She seems fun, has talent, and can probably hold her own in a ribbing match. She seems like she'd be fun camping.

And just so the straight ladies and gay men have something, here's Alyssa's list with photos...

Shemar Moore

Tim McGraw

David Tennant

Hugh Jackman

Chris Hemsworth

Bilbo's Hobbit Hole

The List