Helpful Hobbit: Weight Loss

Welcome to the new series here at Bilbo's Hobbit Hole called "HELPFUL HOBBIT".  This series may or may not be helpful.  Some may be very sarcastic.  If you want to sound like a moron, call this series, "LIFE HACKS".  Either way, enjoy...

Fat America

Hey gang!  I have been trying to get in shape for an upcoming cruise and I have had some great results so far.  So great, that I have been asked very frequently how I am doing it.  I got sick of answering over and over again so I thought I would use my blog as a way to answer everyone.

That's right!  Hell has frozen over.  Bilbo is writing a fitness blog.

Allow me to begin by saying I am not a nutritionist or a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice.  Got it?  You can't sue me for your results or lack of common sense on your part.

OK, so, the journey begins on January 1st, 2018.  I weighed 205 pounds and had a 45" gut.  These were pretty static numbers for the last several years. My original goal for the year was to lose 30 pounds in 365 days.  Sure, I went down a few pounds here and there but I always came back up and the gut never fluctuated.

I am a 6' tall man so 200 pounds isn't terrible but my frame is thin so all of that weight is in my mid section, hence the 45" gut.  Now, for a man, 40" is considered the gut cut-off for overweight so clearly, I am a fattie.

By the time June 25th rolled around, I weighed 202 pounds and had a 45" gut.  My cruise is in mid-August so I realized I had to make a choice.

Do I want to try or do I want to accept?

The answer is simple.

I want to try but will accept.

What?

I decided that I would be happy if I stayed at 202 pounds with a 45" gut but I am going to try to get down to 190 pounds with a 40" gut.

What this allows me to do is to be happy with wherever I end up.  That is a very freeing thought.

OK, on to the plan.

STEP ONE

Your first step is to figure out your resting metabolic rate, or RMR.  This is the number of calories you burn daily just to stay alive. No exercise, no activity, no moving.

I know what you're thinking.  I thought it was called BMR, or Basil Metabolic Rate?

The two terms are essentially the same thing with the difference being that the BMR requires a strict set of circumstances to calculate and might be slightly more accurate.  The RMR can be calculated at home and is sufficient for your journey.

It's a complicated number to figure out but it is required information. I can bore you with the math, or just point you to one of a thousand websites like this one that will calculate it for you.

For me, my starting RMR is 1884 calories per day.  I burn 1884 calories per day just to exist.

Now, this number will change as you lose weight so it is to your benefit to recalculate every so many pounds.

Got your number?

Good.

STEP TWO

Now you have to figure out how to create a calorie deficit.  That is, you must burn more calories than you consume.  Using myself as an example, I know that I burn 1884 calories per day if I do absolutely nothing.  This means I can eat 1884 calories worth of food on my laziest day at not gain any weight.  But I wanted to lose weight so we have to do better.

A general rule of thumb is that you need to aim for a 500 calorie/day deficit in order to lose 1 pound per week.  Again, using myself, I could just eat 1384 calories per day and make that goal but that's never going to happen in a million years.  I like food and beer and wine and whiskey.  I have to consume more.

I aim for 2000 calories/day consumed.  That's a healthy and sustainable number for me.

"But Bilbo, that's 116 more calories than you burn.  You're gonna get fat."

Wrong.  Remember that your RMR is your calories burned just for breathing and having a beating heart.  I do stuff.  I exercise, work, walk around, type this blog, etc etc etc.  These activities all add to your calories burned.

Given that I want to eat 2000 calories/day and lose weight at a healthy 1 pound/week, that means I must burn 2500 calories/day.  We will discuss calories in step 4.

My RMR is 1884 calories so I have to burn 616 calories/day doing additional activities.  Some of those will come from normal activity like working, walking to the car, grocery shopping, etc.  But I have to do more than that to allow myself 2000 calories a day.  I have to exercise.

STEP THREE

I am a pretty lazy guy.  I work smarter, not harder, so the concept of exercise is ludicrous.  Alas, I like food and if I want to eat more, I have to balance that with exercise.

This doesn't mean I spend my precious time at an overpriced gym surrounded by people that I hate.  You can exercise at home for free with very little expense towards equipment.

Now, my routine is the same each day.  There is no leg day and arm day.  I do occasionally take a rest day, especially if I know I am going to burn more calories than normal at work or by hiking or going to a theme park.

During these terrible summer months, I get up very early in the morning to do my exercise.  We are up to 5:15 am and it is already warm out.  DO NOT OVEREXERT YOURSELF, ESPECIALLY IN THIS HEAT.

I start with 30 minutes of cardio.  We use a track at a nearby school or just enjoy walking around our neighborhood.  Cardio is simple.  Brisk walking alternated with jogging.  I am not a runner.  My body is not built for it.  Jogging and brisk walking gets my BPM (beats per minute) up enough to qualify as cardio.  The rule is that you should be breaking a sweat but still able to carry on a conversation.  If you cannot talk while doing it, you are working your body too hard.

After the cardio, I do the following:

STEP UPS (100) I use my Wii Fit board since I own it already and it is a decent height for this exercise.  This is more good cardio that specifically builds up my calves.  I maintain a good pace of about 50/minute.  You can split these up into two sets until your body gets stronger.

Step Ups x 100

I use my Wii Fit board.

CURLS (15) I use these weights that give me the option of 3 pounds, 5 pounds, or 8 pounds and store neatly in a rack.  Do not just let gravity take the weights down.  You must control the decent to get full benefits.

Curls x 15 each arm

SIDE LIFTS (15) The same rules about gravity apply and no, you should not try to come all the way up parallel to the floor.  That is terrible for your shoulders.  I come to about 45 degrees.

Side Lifts x 15

ROW LIFTS (15) Again, don't use gravity as a crutch.  Keep your back straight.

Row Lifts x 15

OVERHEAD LIFTS (15) Straight arms and slow movements.  This one kicks my ass.

Down Position

Up Position

On occasion, I will add crunches depending on my back.  They can be terrible if you have back problems.

Start out with the smaller weights and when it becomes easy, increase to the next size.  Do not feel like you have to "bench like 200 pounds bro!".  You are not competing with anyone and have nothing to prove.

Why do I do these specific exercises?  Cardio is fantastic for weight loss and weights target muscle development which speeds up metabolism and helps with weight loss.  Specifically, in men, targeting chest has an added benefit of lowering belly fat and toning.

Regardless of the day, I always make sure I have at least 90 minutes of active time and 10,000 steps, both as measured using Google Fit.  You can use Fit Bit or any free app on your phone.  It's set it and forget it.

STEP FOUR

Counting calories is a huge pain in the ass.  There are hundreds of apps out there to help but they are all equally tiresome. I just use Google Keep (a note taking app) and just write it down and then delete it the next day and start fresh.  I don't care about long term statistics.  I just care that I stay under 2000 calories each day.

Do I?

Mostly.  On occasion, I have gone over.  We call those cheat days and they are very important.  Remember, I aim to burn 2500 calories/day so as long as I stay below that number, I don't gain weight.  The calories between my goal of 2000 in and 2500 out are cheat calories.  You have to allow yourself the occasional slip up or you will go insane.  So on my cheat days (once a week), I allow my self up to 2500 calories.  I don't aim for 2500 but I don't get mad at myself if I hit it.  That way, I don't hurt my ultimate goal by gaining weight for that day or by falling off the rails through discouragement.

OK, back to counting.  It sucks.  There is no way around it.  It forces you to ask if you really NEED that snack or if you're just "bored-eating".  I am shocked to find out how much I was bored-eating.  Being a former smoker, I would just have a cigarette when I was bored.  When I quit over 3 years ago, that got replaced with eating a snack.  Did you know one Starburst has 20 calories?!?!?!?

A side effect of counting calories is that I have gotten really good and knowing how many calories are in foods and what a serving of those foods looks like.  I am sure it is annoying to people I go out with.

For me, I usually hit 300-400 for breakfast, 400-500 for lunch, and 500-600 for dinner.  That leaves me 500-800 for snacking throughout the day/alcoholic beverages/etc and I usually spread my lunch out as smaller grazing meals.

A shot (1.5oz) of hard liquor is 100 calories.  A bowl of lettuce is 15. A handful of shrimp is 50. The average frozen hot wing is 113 calories PER WING.  No I didn't look any of that up.  I just know now and can plan my day accordingly.

The thing I found most shocking is how quickly calories can add up from crap that doesn't fill you.  Candy. Bread. Soda. Etc.  I now drink a lot of water because it is 0 calories.  I hate water but discovered that lightly and naturally flavored sparkling water hits the spot.  I also now look at things like salad dressing differently.  Vinegar and salt and pepper make a great zero calorie dressing vs. the average calorie count of 100 for the amount of dressing you're probably using on your otherwise  healthy salad.

"But Bilbo, how do I count calories precisely when I dine out?"

You don't do it precisely.  Make a good guess.  Use Google to look up a similar dish.  You don't have to be perfect.  The point is, you're trying and that's what matters.

Most venues list calorie counts but at places with customization on their menus, (Subway, I am looking at you) it can be confusing.  Just get close.

RESULTS

So, on June 25th, I started at 202 pounds and a 45" gut.

On July 23rd, I am down to 192.7 pounds and a 42" gut.

Those are healthy, obtainable results.  I still enjoy alcohol but I plan for it now.  I still love a juicy cheeseburger, but other meals that day are healthier options.

An added perk is that I save a lot of money by not eating out nearly as often because fast food is mostly terrible for you.

Yes, you can do it.  Yes it is hard.  The trick is to push through the initial hatred of the process and then to allow yourself to screw up.